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Venustate The Vile: Be A Nefelibata & Find Ataraxia
i. Lov…
Is it love this,
that wants me to change,
to model me into a structure unknown, to a strange figure.
an unoriginal, counterfeit looking somebody.
Is it love this,
that makes me doubtful if I’m enough.
That takes, takes, three times it takes
But knows nothing of ever giving?
“Open your heart and let them in,” some instructed.
“Allow love to enter as indifference leaves.”
Never a warm nature to anyone,
always with a cold-front for a face.
I am not anybody’s summer.
I am bitter, biting as winter.
They said my walls were built up too high, why?
Was I readily awaiting warfare?
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. . . maybe.
My life organ a fortress. Never permeable. Never penetrable.
Be a human-being, these robots said.
Nothing left here to stab, I am fully bled out
‒ oh, so I thought.
As I open my wounds
letting them bleed
till they stop.
